When Warrior Cats Encounter Two-leg Food
by Shad0wSt0rm
Summary: I wanted to make something random and funny so it for SURE isn't realistic to Warriors hehe...
1. Chapter 1

**I'm kinda bored right now and wanted to try to make people laugh, so here it goes!**

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The clan settled at their usual gathering every moon "Everything is good in Riverclan" Mistystar meowed "The fish are plentiful!"

The Riverclan cats purred while Bramblestar stepped in his spot "Thunderclan is thriving, many squirrels and rabbits roam in our territory and-" He was cut off when he smelled an awful stench.

"Whats that smell?" A cat hissed

"My nose hurts!" Another mewed

"Settle down! We can go investigate it"

The clans set off into the forest tracing down the stench, it got closer and closer till they noticed a large monster that had crashed into the lake. Mistystar leaped into the water and jumped right out "MY FUR! THE LAKE IS INFESTED WITH DIRTY LIQUID!" She screamed.

Bramblestar stepped forward reaching his muzzle out to her fur "This isn't that bad, you can barely tell you- EW EW EW EWEW EW EW GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!" He shrieked jumping up and down.

Jayfeather paced towards the lake "I think that some liquid carried inside the monster got into the lake, that's all. And its probably not even tasteful" He bent down to lick the lake. Everyone froze and watched his reaction, he was quiet for a moment but then he licked his lips and answered; a stern look on his face "It tastes- SUNSHINE RAINBOWS!" He yowled and galloped to Camp.

The clan stared in awe. Dustpelt guffawed "Its probably some prank, i'll try it" He bent over the lake and paused "Who's a pretty kitty? I am! I am!" Bramblestar nudged him.

"Dust-"

"I am! I am!"

"Dustpel-"

"You are so pretty!"

"DUSTPELT!"

Dustpelt glanced at him "W-what?" He mewed "You were doing something?" Dustpelt nodded "Right. Who's the pretty kitty, who is? Who is?" He began again "Oh forget it!" Bramblestar hissed, irritated and pushed Dustpelt into the infested water. Dustpelt somehow swam through the water, his head bobbing down to drink it and back out "The pretty is so sky today" He mewed gazing at the sky. He began to drown "I'm drowninggggggg" He purred in a sing-song voice. Minnowtail sighed and leaped into the lake, lifting him out and dropping him on shore, along with swallowing some of the lake water too. She skipped out and began pushing all the cats still on shore into the water one by one

"TROUBLE-TROUBLE MAKER YA THAT CHARM LITTLE NAME!" Cats that had exited the lake sang along with her momentarily "OOO OH OOO" Soon all cats had drunk some of the lake and were lollygagging on shore "I'M BEING ATTACKED BY NINJA" Cinderheart cried, everyone stared at her "MY FACE IS AN APPLE" Lionblaze pranced happily around Onestar "I FEEL SO ALIVE! WATER COME TREAT YOURSELVES WITH STARCLAN!" He yowled to Starclan

Bluestar came down to land "What is going on here?" She hissed "Don't drink-"

Blackstar pounced on her and shoved her into the lake "Finally the old hag stopped talking" He yawned.

Bluestar shot back up to Starclan from under Blackstar and brought all the cats from the clouds "DRINK MY FELLOW BUMS" Bluestar screeched

"No Bluestar, do you really think is sensible and the appropriate time to be joking around?" Raggedstar asked.

Bluestar paused and seemed to take in a lot of thought for this and then burst out "Yes" And used her Starclan powers to throw every cat from the Clans, Starclan, the Tribe, and Loners (Ravenpaw, Barley, etc) into the water.

"MY LIFE IS A WHOOPIE CUSHION!" Yellowfang shrieked

"WHERE'D I PUT MY HEAD?" Raggedstar cried "LETS DANCE!" Russetfur yowled to Cinderpelt

"MY LIFE IS A PLACCEEEE, IS A PLACEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" Lionheart sang off-tune.

"MY STAR IS ON FIRE!" Firestar screamed

"THATS YOUR NAME YOU BUTT!" Snowkit yelled.

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**Thats all i got for today...**

**Please write a review on what i should do my next chapter about with the same crazy cats acting crazy from the same thing, i need help!**


	2. The Petition

**Okay so i realized how much fun this is (HeHe) I won't stop until I get hate or no one reads and reviews. **

**So I hope no one hates and keeps reading and reviewing (Btw i didn't have an idea for this one so it might be a bit boring)! **

**Mmk so onto the story!**

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Bramblestar strode out of his den, since the happening of the water being infested the clans had not gone back to normal. He padded to the fresh-kill pile and prodded a scrawny mouse "YOUR MOTHER WAS HORRIBLE!" He yowled "WHY WERE YOU NEVER FED PROPERLY! AND YOUR CLAN NEVER EVEN CARED" He continued poking the dead creature "Bramblestar? The-The mouse is dead" As Jayfeather finished speaking Bramblestar stopped him "WE SHALL START A PETITION! NO MOUSE SHALL EVER BE AS SKINNY AS THIS EVER AGAIN!" Squirrelflight padded up to him "I AGREE!" She screeched. Bramblestar marched up high rock "ALL CATS OLD ENOUGH- OH JUST COME HERE!" The cats gathered around the high rock, waiting patiently.

"My tail! Its a petunia!" Ivypool sobbed

"I CAN'T FIND MY PANTS!" Squealkit cried

"Cats don't wear pants" Dovewing muttered

"Oh right" Squealkit mewed

"Cats of the clan! We will make a petition!" Bramblestar yowled

"For what?" Lionblaze asked

"For the mice!" No one talked, Bramblestar pouted.

Squirrelflight flew in (I literally mean flew) and was holding a unfamiliar cat in her paws.

"MY FELLOW BUTTS! THIS IS MY FRIEND HOLLOWSTREAM!" She yelled, Hollowstream pounced away from her and hissed "Thunderclan's a stupid name! Pick a new one!"

Brackenfur stood up "I agree!" He burst out.

"Me too! Maybe it will help me find my pants" Squealkit squeaked

"Um, whoever the mother is of this kit is you might need to think about taking him to a mental asylum" Jayfeather remarked quietly.

Applefern gasped and ran to get her kit, she hissed while at it

"Why was Squealkit even here? He isn't an Apprentice yet" Bumblestripe noted.

"OBJECTION!" Squealkit yowled while began taken away.

"Okay anyways we were talking about a new name" Hollowstream sighed

"We _were _talking about a Mouse rights petition but look where we're getting at" Bramblestar murmured, Sandstorm shot him a glare

"Who even said you were part of the clan?" Cinderheart asked

"I DID YOU DUMB-HEAD!" Squirrelflight snapped

"I did too!" Idekkit squealed while jumping up and down

"I didn't" Bramblestar muttered, Squirrelflight hissed.

Hollowstream padded towards the high rock "Okay, so whats the name gonna be?" He repeated

"Butternuggetsclan!" A cat yowled from the crowd

"Applepieclan!" Another purred

"Uh, no" Hollowstream spat.

the clan cats pouted.

Shrivelkit raced up to the front of the clan "I have an idea! How about-"

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**Okay so i don't know a good name and i need your help since you all have such great imagination! I need a clan name! Maybe some cats if you'd like as well!** **Please help us out!**

**-pooey Thunderclan **


	3. NEW KITTEHS!

**Sorry i haven't written in FOREVER. Forum stuff and all, AHHH! ADDICTING! Ok well i got a bit of help with Characters and stuff so here they are!**

**Disclaimer- I don't own Warriors, or the Warrior characters from Erin Hunter, East Side Mario's, Aristocats and whatever k? Done with. **

**ONTO THE STORY!**

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Lionblaze strode out of his den "WALK WALK FASHION BABY WORK IT-. I don't know the rest"

Hawkfrost came from The Dark Forest "You should be ashamed of your self! Lady Gaga deserves better" He sobbed

"Shouldn't you be dead?"

"Yes, BUT WHY DO YOU CARE?!"

"Because your the crazy cat terrorists. But yeah... I don't care much anymore" Lionblaze turned and walked away.

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"I AM BLAZEFOOT!" A ginger cat yowled from the top of high rock.

Bramblestar skipped up the rock, his paw stuck out in front of him. "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!HEEEEEEEEEEE" He smirked.

Blazefoot backed away

"I AM FATCATKIT" A kit spat and did that Aristocats thing from Toulouse (my favourite :) )

All the queens 'awwed'

"ZIP IT YOU OLD BATS" FATCATKIT yowled, the queens pouted.

A brown Apprentice strode to the front of high rock "I'm Brownpaw. Carry me you ugly buffoon!" He yowled to Yellowfang, she hissed and slapped him off the rock. (Don't worry, he's all right... I think)

Jayfeather padded up to the rock with an eye patch "FEAR ME! I AM THE WITCH OF THE WEST" He howled

"YOU MURDERER! YOU KILLED MY PANTS" Squealkit hissed "He was only 4, so young" He sobbed.

Jayfeather groaned "Again, think about what i told you yesterday."

Bramblestar ran up to the rock and threw Jayfeather off "Okay, so what did we decide that our clan be called Shrivelkit?"

Shrivelkit shriveled his nose "I forget"

Bramblestar cheered "IFORGETCLAN! IT SHALL BE NAMED"

Shrivelkit shrugged and padded to the nursery "About that mental asylum..." He whispered to Squirrelflight, they both nodded and continued away.

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**That was a short chapter... Sorry, Forum time! ;D Okay I don't know how to make it funny :( PLEASE HELP! I SUCK AT MAKING IT FUNNY HELP!**

**"Move along man!" See ya! "GET ME OUT OF THIS BOLD NARRATOR THING?!" kk **

"Much better, now. I'd like to thank everyone who read this," **O****nly one person reviewed Bramblestar **

"Woah, I take back what I said. Though thanks Petaldawn and Guest."

"GET YOUR PAWS OFF ME!"

**Okay, bye now! **


	4. OH MY GOSH! READ DIS!

**Heyyy sorry nothing went up a couple days. Ooo well, lol on to the storryyyy!**

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Lionblaze pranced out the den. "LOLLIPOP LOLLIPOP OOO LOLLILOLLI LOLLI LOLLIPOP!"

Jayfeather skipped over, "BA DUM DUM DUM DUM."

Bramblestar shook his head and padded away.

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**Suddenly someone dropped a huge water thing onto their land and somehow they could swim:**

"YO, KICK A BEAT!" Jayfeather yowled.

Ashfur muttered something to himself before hitting the drums,

"NOW THE GUITAR!" Jayfeather yowled.

Tigerstar growled, "Oh i'll kick a beat!" He stalked over and began kicking Jayfeather.

After Jayfeather recovered they began:

"HE LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER DA SEA! SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS!" Jayfeather schrieked, and Berrynose padded out with a sponge costume on him.

"EW, CHANGE THE SPONGEBOB!" Jayfeather yowled.

Berrynose pouted and was pushed off by the guards, Lionblaze and Bramblestar.

Squirrelflight skipped out wearing the sponge costume, now

"NO!" Jayfeather shrieked "MY EYES!"

Squirrelflight hissed and leaped to attack Jayfeather, Bramblestar pounced and took her down, "No." he hissed and dragged her away.

Soon Berrynose returned with the sponge on him "Oh whatever" Jayfeather hissed, they all began playing a friendly game of Spongebob.

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"LA. LA LA LA LA. LA LA LA LA LE LA LA" Bramblestar shouted

"What are you saying?" Brownpaw asked,

"I SAID ITS GATHERING TIME YOU BUTTS! ITS THE NEW CALL! GATHER 'ROUND AND ILL PICK WHO WILL COME. FIRST OF ALL I NEED A NEW DEPUTY, IT WILL BE EITHER LIONBLAZE, BROWNPAW, ITS A KADOOZLEKIT AND LIONBLAZEISAMAZINGESSTKIT!" He screeched.

The cats clogged their ears with moss. "LIONBLAZE SHOULD WIN!" Cinderheart and Jayfeather yowled

"KADOOZLEKIT SHOULD WIN!" Squashkit screamed

"NO BROWNPAW SHOULD WIN!" Fatkit shrieked.

Bramblestar padded in his den.

"WHAT ABOUT ME?" LIONBLAZEISAMAZINGESSTKIT asked, no one said anything.

He pouted.

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CAN YALL VOTE FOR IT? I HOPE SO! PLEASE VOTE FOR WHO SHOULD WIN IN THE REVIEWS! THANKS!

-Bramblestar, and all the contestants.

**THANK YOU IF YOU PLAN ON VOTING! MWAH! MWAH! **

**Thats all for the story! Bye!**


	5. MY GAWD

**OH MY GAWD I'M SO SORRY FRIENDSIES! WHY DID I LEAVE YOU! -pouts- I'M BACK THO :D **

***Says in innocent voice* I hope we still be fwiends c:**

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Bramblestar da fat fat leaped back onto the high rock or whatever.

"LA. LALALALALALALALALLALALALALALALLALALA" He yowled the new call.

Cats gathered under the rock, whispering to each other about who they thought the new Deputy would be.

"GUESS WHAT." Bramblestar grinned, Squirrelflight rolled her eyes, "SHUT UP AND TELL US THE NEW DEPUTY BRAMBLESTAR DA FAT FAT"

Bramblestar gasped, "My name is Bramblestar you ignorant baffoon." He snapped, he flicked his paws somehow and Lionblaze and Ashfur dragged her away.

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_Wait a minute? Ashfur? He's dead! _

**Hush up Bluestar. I BROUGHT HIM BACK *pushes her away* **

_Make me come back then! _

**K.**

* * *

"NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO" The cats of the clan caterwauled, "NOT HER!"

Bluestar appeared out of thin air, "HI! I'm back!" She smiled.

Everyone leaped on her and attacked her, "She dead man. Get off." Crowfeather rolled his eyes.

"How'd you get here..." Bramblestar's eyes widened, making him look like a kit,

"I came."

"WELL THEN!"

"Well then what?"

"DIE!"

Everyone jumped on Crowfeather and tackled him, but he maid it out alive, yay!

Bluestar groaned, "HEY GUYS! I'M STILL ALIVE! I CAN STILL HUNT WITH YOU!"

Bramblestar gasped, "NO SHE'S STILL ALIVE! GET HERRRRRRR"

Everyone pounced on Bluestar and battered her.

"But i only just returned!" She hissed, magic wonderfulness came from her and she healed.

Bramblestar cried and fell to the ground, slamming his paw as if it were a fist, "SHE IS UNDEFEATABLEEEEEEEEE"

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***Grabs a pencil and erases Bluestar***

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"WELL THEN." Bramblestar huffed.

"THAT WORKED WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" The cats cheered.

Bramblestar cleared his throat "Anyways. The next DeputyIdol is..."

***Suspenseful music***

"Kadoozlekit!"

Kadoozlekit leaped up, "OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG! I'D LIKE TO THANK MUM, AND DAD, AND..."

"Whatever." Bramblestar pushed him away.

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**We are finisheddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd ddddddddddddddddddddddddddd**


	6. MewTube

Bramblestar hissed down at the ground, "MY GAWD!"

"Whats wrong, Bramblestar?" Berrynose asked, padding up, "Did you see a picture of me and hate me because you will never be as beautiful as me?" The tom purred, his whiskers twitching.

"No." Bramblestar shook his head, "BUT THIS!" He gasped, grabbing his Iphone out of his pocket and turning on MewTube, "La. LALALALALALALALALALALALALALA" He called the ceremony call.

Once the clan had gathered under Bigrock or whatever its called Bramblestar took a deep breath, before saying, "Chris Brown... IS IN JAIL!" He exclaimed.

Brownpaw wailed, "THE WORLD IS RUINED!"

"Whats wrong with you? Chris Brown is horrible!" Goldenshine said, flipping her fur.

"Where the heck did you come from?" Wheretheheckkit asked.

"INTRUDER!" Intruderkit yowled.

Goldenshine grabbed out her bow and arrow, "WATCH YOUR PAWS, STUPIDS!" She hissed.

Lionblaze shrugged, "Whatever, Bramblestar, carry on."

Bramblestar was spazzing out on the BigRock, "CHRISSSSSS BROWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! JAIL! GONE! HALLELUJAH!"

"Your happy?!" Brownpaw screeched.

"Yes. He beat up Rihanna on their date, got a tattoo on his neck after of a beat up woman, then dissed Drake because Rihanna and Drake dated and then he did crazy things. Ok?" Bramblestar meowed.

Brownpaw hissed, "You don't know his half of the story!"

Berrynose nodded, "YA!"

"CHRIS BROWN TEAM! OUT!" Brownpaw yowled and Berrynose, Hawkfrost, Kadoozlekit, Chrisbrownkit and a couple others padded out of camp altogether.

"Wait what..." Lionblaze froze.

* * *

"INTRUDER! INTRUDER!" Intruderkit screamed, gesturing to a black furred she-cat.

"Hello, cats." The she-cat mewed, her white chest fur swaying in the wind.

"Hello, Shadowstorm. We meet again." Lionblaze meowed, padding up towards the she-cat.

Cinderheart leaped over, "You know her?" She asked.

"Yes, we would secretly meet when you were too busy rambling about how you don't want me as a mate because I'm part of the prophecy." Lionblaze replied dreamily.

Cinderheart growled, "I HATE YOU SHADOWSTORM!"

Shadowstorm shrugged, "We never dated." She muttered, flicking her tail.

"Oh. Okay!" Cinderheart padded away.

Lionblaze rolled his eyes, "Anyways, do you still have... DA POWER?"

"Yes. BRAMBLESTAR STEP DOWN FROM LEADERSHIP I RULE ALL THE CLANS!" Shadowstorm leaped to Bramblestar's BigRock thing and sat down.

"Okay." Bramblestar shrugged.

"Great." Shadowstorm smiled, she clapped her paws and sent ice cream raining out of the sky.

"YAY!"

"ICE CREAM!"

"FOOD!"

Kadoozlekit padded over to Bramblestar, "Are you sure this cat is a good leader?"

"Yeah! Just listen to the happy cheering cats!" Bramblestar purred.

"WHERE ARE MY DENTURES!"

"I'M DROWNING!"

"I CANT FIND MY NOSE!"

Bramblestar leaned over and licked the ground, his tongue getting stuck to ice and freezing, "Eh. Whatver." He grumbled, his voice muffled from the ice, he flicked a paw.

Shadowstorm gasped, "BRAMBLESTAR! YOU JUST CREATED THE NEW DANCE!" She leaned over, licked the ground. "Eh. Whatver." She grumbled, then flicked a paw.

All the cats copied, everyone getting stuck afterwards.

"Um... Shadowstorm... We're sorta stuck now..." Lionblaze mumbled.

"Oh. Right..." Shadowstorm nodded. She clapped her paws and poofed them ice free.

* * *

"I WANT TO MARRY THIS CORNCANDY!" Fatkit yowled.

"BUT FATKIT! I LOVED YOU! WE PLANNED ON OUR WHOLE LIFE TOGETHER!" Smushkit wailed.

"Suck it up, Corncandy is prettier." Fatkit shrugged.

"LIFE IS RUINED!" Smushkit continued sobbing.

"TO THE MARRIAGE PLACEY THINGY!" Fatkit called out.

Shadowstorm huffed and clapped her paws, sending them to a Church/Synagogue.

Fatkit trotted to the stage place and stopped beside the Corncandy, it had a tini little bride dress on. He boldly puffed out his tux.

Squealkit stood in front of them, "Do you wish to stand side by side, until time of death, and stuff?"

"I do!" Fatkit roared.

"And you Corncandy?" Squealkit turned to the corncandy.

The Corncandy said nothing.

"Fatkit. Corncandy hates you." Squealkit padded out of the Synagogue.

"NO! CORNCANDY! WE LOVED EACHOTHER! HOW DARE YOU! HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW DARE YOU!" Fatkit sobbed, "WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THIS CRUEL WORLD!"

The Corncandy said nothing.

"How about, if you say nothing, you agree?" Fatkit asked, his eyes widening.

"Of course its gonna say nothing. Its an inanimate object," Berrynose rolled his eyes.

The corncandy shrieked, "NO!"

Fatkit fell to his knees, "NO! NO! NO! SHE SPOKE! THE HORROR! THE HORRORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR..."

Shadowstorm backed out of the Synagogue, "Okay then..." She said softly before poofing them all back except for the disturbed Fatkit.

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**That is weird, probably not funny but eh, BYES FRIENDS**


End file.
